


recapitulation

by womb



Series: Family values [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Child Abuse, F/M, Incest, femdom ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 01:53:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18022586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womb/pseuds/womb
Summary: Illumi comes back the night Killua ran away from home.





	recapitulation

The house was calm when Illumi arrives the night Killua ran away. If He or his father wasn’t on a mission, Killua would’ve been home. But now that he is here, all traces of violence were already erased. It’s the calm after mayhem. 

The first thing Illumi does is checking up on Milluki who took the blow of Killua’s rebellion alongside with their mother. He knocks twice and waits, giving Milluki some time to save face and close potential shameful tabs displayed on his computer screen. Pushing the door ajar, Light slips through the door and casts a ray on his bed, it’s the only light illuminating the room because tonight Milluki’s isn’t on his computer. 

He closes the door leaving him in slumber.

 

Kikyo is still overdressed when he finds her lying on the bed. Knees bent on the edge of the bed and a photo album cradled to her chest. Kalluto is sallow faced, sitting close by in front of the dressing table. Kikyo’s accessories and beauty products were pushed aside to make room for a tea kettle and a cup, another cup was in Kalluto’s hands.  
Kikyo shifts her weight on elbow when he locks the door. He can see her face now, or what is left visible of it.  
“Oh it’s just you,” She leans back one for a moment before sitting straight and clutches the album harder. Photographs were splayed around her. Illumi doesn’t need to come closer to tell which was which. “Welcome home, Illumi.”

She sniffles, her tone was too tame, the way it always is after a long session of sobbing.  
“You’re crying,” He says as he crosses the room, he might not see it but he knows for sure that her eyes are still puffy behind her visor, tears damping her bandages as well as blood. Kikyo plunges herself toward him.  
“Every second that passes while he’s out there instead of kneeling in front of me, kissing the hem of my dress and begging for forgiveness…is killing me” her voice gradually regains its sharpness, her words are rehashed, she was merely waiting for Illumi to make that remark. “Of course he wouldn’t, not willingly! He’s too cruel. He—He’s gone!”  
Kalluto’s attention shifts from his drink at the mention of his brother. He has heard it all and he was there when it happened but he still has an unreasonable fear that there was a detail he might have missed and an unreasonable assumption that it would make any difference for him to know. He wasn’t any help back then and he still isn’t.

“I’ve been told, I’m not worried much though.” Killua is at that age where family seems like his worst enemy. It was a phase Illumi skipped.  
And before he knows it his mother detaches herself from him, grabs his head and pulls it to her face, her fingers buried deep in his hair roots. “No? Me neither, I know he’ll be back eventually. But Illumi, if he doesn’t you’ll bring him back to me won’t you?” he nods. Illumi is taller than Kikyo but she yanked him in a way that made his head tilt upward, his arms are on either sides of her body, if he was any closer he would be sitting on her lap.

Kikyo untangles her fingers from his hair and retracts. She’s already holding the kettle when she asks him if he wants a cup of tea. Kalluto! where are your manners! She scolds. Kalluto apologizes.  
“Welcome home, brother” he says much too late and then resumes blowing on his tea as if there is any steam coming out of it. Kikyo serves him his tea. Kalluto! She screams again your tea is getting cold! She lifts his chin and angles the cup downward until its rim touches his lips. Kalluto shuts his eyes tight as the liquid makes its way down his throat, down his jaw. Kikyo stirs the cup before placing it back prompting him to drink the rest.  
Kikyo tilts her head and smile “Would you like some more?” She says, the tea kettle hanging in her hand above the cup.  
Kalluto’s dumbfounded, he twists in his seat “Yes, please.” His voice is small, he’s on the verge of tears.  
The kettle hangs long dramatic seconds in the air. Satisfied, she finally announces: “I was just testing you Kalluto, you can leave now. Goodnight!”  
“Thank you.” Kalluto says under his breath, ripping the words out of his lungs. He trudges out of the room, Kikyo considers calling a servant to escort him but he didn’t ask. 

 

“Killua handled my poisons better than all of you,” Illumi hums in agreement. After all he not only witnessed but took part in his training. Illumi the assassin, the trainer and the brother couldn’t have been more proud when Killua recuperates earlier than he should have, when he smugly asks for more of Kikyo’s tea. He was good and he knew it. But sometime Illumi, when separated from the assassin, the trainer and the brother identity, Illumi who was unidentifiable wishes he wasn’t.  
It’s not that he doesn’t want Killua to thrive as an assassin. His potential is too great to go vain. And even the parts of himself he doesn’t recognize couldn’t oppose that, nor could it deny that his life purpose after all was to cultivate something out of that potential.

But when Killua’s feverish body tosses and turns in sleepless nights when his body spasms and loses its coordination after a session of electricity torture, it makes him crave Killua’s fading vulnerability. 

“Illumi”  
“Yes?”  
“You have to go and find Killua, to make sure he’s safe.”  
“Right now?”  
“No not right now, I can’t let you leave like this.”  
“Like what?”  
Kikyo purses her lips “You’re hard.” 

Oh. There’s never an appropriate response to that. He thinks of apologizing and leaving or ignoring her statement and asking to change her bandages. But for the second time that night, Illumi finds himself caged between Kikyo’s slender arms. And with a duck of her head and a press of her lips, Kikyo frees him from the burden of choice.

“How much longer do I have to take care of you, Illumi? When are you going to find yourself a woman?"  
Illumi squints his eyes momentarily and then remembers how vocal Kikyo was about her hatred for that look on his face. He thinks long and hard. Why would his mother ask about something so obvious? Her thumb doesn’t stop fiddling with his lower lip when he finally answers “Well, I didn’t have time to think about it, but if you have someone in mind I wouldn’t be opposed to it”  
She withdraws and gets to her feet "Only cowards let their mothers pick their wives for them. Come, help me out of my dress" 

So he does, his arms encircle her frame to reach the zipper on her back. Then he peels off her dress until its bellow her hips and from there it falls and bunch around her feet. Kikyo steps out of the pile, her breasts spill out as she undoes her corset, prompting Illumi to undress too.  
In contrast to her skeletal limbs a layer of fat coats her abdomen making her skin roll on the edge of her underwear, but only slightly. It’s less emphasized when she takes them off.

When Kikyo’s traces his ribs and presses herself flat on his body and only then does he cup her elbows and run his hands along the length of her arms.  
“Did Killua do this too?” He asks when his fingers bumps with the rough texture of scarred skin on her forearms.  
“No that was me, I was upset.” She was breathing into his collarbones “He slashed my face and neck, he could’ve seriously—he could’ve killed me. If only you were here to see him, it was amazing—”  
“I bet, but if I was here I wouldn’t have let it happen.” she was right, Illumi also had his share of Killua related injuries. He knows what it’s like to have his razor nails dug deep in his flesh but Illumi wouldn’t let him touch his neck until the day he actually could. 

It was hard to anticipate a slap amidst jaw kisses, he didn’t even realize it until his head rotated sideways, he heard the cracking sound too but he didn’t feel the sting until much later. Years of intense assassin training and he can never be prepared for Kikyo’s slaps.  
She slaps him again on the same side for good measurement. His ear rings.  
“I knew it! I can feel you twitch when I mention him, How could you?” she says bitterly “God Illumi, we talked about this” The talk. He remembers the talk. He doesn’t even try to vindicate himself, because Kikyo remembers too.

“Tell me, what did you promise me back then?”  
“To protect him, until he doesn’t need to be protected. To protect him from myself, always.” this Illumi’s voice was even, unwavering. He doesn’t remember what his adolescent-self sounded like saying it but he remembers the way it made him recoil.  
“And are you still up to your word?”  
“Yes, always.”  
Illumi doesn’t blink when he gets another slap. His cheek was throbbing. “Try again.”  
“It’s true, I haven’t laid a hand on him ever since that time. Promise.”

 

As a teenager, Illumi’s obscene attraction to Killua has always been transparent to everyone in the family except Killua himself. And everyone in the family, including Kikyo, had a fixation with Killua. Illumi’s wasn’t all that different, so it wasn’t his lingering stares or the borderline innocent touches he steals that tipped her off. as long as his deviancy flew past Killua’s young psych and as long as it didn’t hinder his training, Kikyo was forgiving. 

If only Illumi was content with stares and touches, if only Killua wasn’t so trusting, so ignorant, and so delectable. Maybe then he wouldn’t have ended up fondling his brother beneath his pants. But again he doesn’t regret what he did, he only regret that it wasn’t kept under the covers where Killua was vulnerable the most.  
During the twenty four years he lived, Illumi has never seen anything more beautiful than Killua’s erection and the look of terror and defeat on his face. He was happy he was the one to show him how small he was, to make him realize that no he can’t break god. He was happy, because he will be the one to patch him up. 

He was never caught in the act, His error was that he overestimated Killua’s pride. When he shrank and cowered that day, Illumi thought that he too wished to keep it under the covers. But it slipped through Killua’s lips to Kikyo. He was lucky it was only Kikyo.

She did her best to contain the situation from under Silva’s nose. Illumi doesn’t know what she did but Killua just stopped talking about it, it was as if she snipped the memory out of his mind. Illumi suspects that it has to do with her nen and to this day, that was the closest he ever got to figuring out her nen.  
The servants were replaced and disposed of, it didn’t raise any suspicions. Kikyo was fickle by nature, she changes her servants like she changes her china.  
Illumi had the talk. It involved a lot more slapping than it did today and a blade pierced in the wooden chair he was tied to, it dangerously close to his crotch. “You’ve grown up!” she explained as her hands roamed over his bony chest. He needed a safe outlet to expel his excessive sexual energy, she explained further. That outlet was not and will never be Killua, for he was the heir. So Kikyo decided to shift his fixation off of Killua herself and for the first time Illumi saw his mother naked.

Kikyo didn’t let him out without clarifying that the next time he misbehaves, his funeral will be the only time he ever leave this dungeon again.

After that, everything went back to near normal. Illumi resumed training Killua except they were never alone in the same room. When Silva was absent, Milluki took his place. Killua would ask about Illumi’s bruised face and remarks on Milluki’s uselessness.  
Milluki eventually retreated to his room.

Killua was sometimes afraid of him, like when he’s uncertain how much longer his training will last. But it was never like that time. The more he inspects, the more it’s apparent that he isn’t forging oblivion. 

 

“Even if you didn’t, you still think about it.” Illumi doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know what she wants him to say. Sometimes Kikyo didn’t expect a response, sometimes she says things just for the sake of it, she likes the sound of her voice. so he grovels. Blood drips from his lip on the tile. The pressure of the cold tiles flush on his forehead relieves a nasal tension he didn’t know he had.  
“Yeah, sorry” looking at the floor isn’t different from looking at her face. Not that it lacks emotions, but it contains too many of them to distinguish. 

“Get out”, she spits and takes a step back. Illumi grabs her ankle before she takes another. She likes it when he crawls.  
He takes a hold of her calf, feeling the firmness. He rises slowly as he kisses his way from there to her inner thighs and says into her skin ”Sorry”

Kikyo doesn’t budge until she does. her foot kicks at his shoulder. He lets himself be kicked and guided on his back. On her knees, Kikyo makes herself comfortable on top of his torso, she smears the dried blood on his mouth. Leaning down she takes his lip into her mouth and sucks on it until she tastes copper.  
Without breaking the kiss, Kikyo takes his larger hands into hers and set them on her breasts. His fingers sink into them as he presses and pulls. Kikyo’s hand draws an invisible line from his chest to his pubic bone. Illumi holds his breath as she grabs his dick and position herself on top of it. Once they’re aligned she slides down on his cock in a swift movement. Illumi’s grip on her breasts tightened and then faded into tender pulling on her nipples.

Soon, pushing his hips upward in tandem with Kikyo’s frantic bouncing ceased to be sufficient. He sits straight, crosses his legs and grabs her hips to set a faster pace. At her lack of disproval, he picks her up all together and lets her down on the bed, a curtain of hair falls over them. 

She didn’t allow them to have sex anywhere outside the torture dungeon at first. But then she broke her own law by sluggishness of her part, opening her bedroom door to Illumi. But even then she tried to set boundaries. “Not on your father’s bed,” she’d say as she pushes him down to the floor. It didn’t make a difference except in Kikyo’s mind and soon she realizes that too.

He hovers over her and grabs a pillow to set under her head before grabbing her by the thighs and impaling his dick back inside her.

Kikyo’s head lolls to the side, her mouth agape but no sound was coming out.  
At some point, Illumi’s eyes shift off of her and upward. And if she wasn’t in such a state of delirium she would have spent less time appreciating her son’s throat and more on grasping the implication of it. She bares he teeth, a vein in neck is ready to pop. She doesn’t slap him again but she strokes the battered flesh with her knuckles slowly at first. Then she tweaks it “What’s so interesting about the bed frame, Illumi? Ah, don’t take your eyes off me”  
He looks down on her, but it didn’t help much. She wants to scream. How could a stare intense make her feel so invisible? She palms his cheek, flick his lip. Her digits curl around his neck and rest there. Illumi wasn’t a problem child but a rotten one and the deeper she carves the more she grasps that it’s more optimal to dispose of the whole thing. 

Illumi buries his face in her chest. He does that when he’s close. memories resurfaces, projecting on the back of his eyelids, Lean trembling thighs, a face that pronounces surrender and arousal, a child so docile like a lamb with a knife under its throat. his ears are deaf to anything that isn’t the shy whimpers echoing in his head. He clutches on a juvenile cock, aching and pulsating.  
He clutches on the bed sheets.

His skin tingles and burn but Illumi doesn’t need to be smacked on his face to keep himself in check, he bites his lips so he wouldn’t say his name. He pulls out when he cums because right now it’s Kikyo feet that are digging into his buttocks, it’s Kikyo’s fingers that are tearing his scalp and it’s Kikyo’s chest he collapses on, breathless.

 

Illumi rests his good cheek under Kikyo’s breast as they lay against each other in silence, cum sticking to his stomach. His thoughts raced from gratefulness that Kikyo never tried to separate him from Killua to anxiousness that she might have a change of heart in the future. He shivers thinking how far he would go to stop that from ever happening. Kikyo doesn’t comment on the shift in his aura.

The room fills with one-sided chatter. His ears catch some, Illumi’s sure she’s saying different variations of the same though. It gets draining to follow but her chest vibrates under him, expands and contracts as she breathes and it’s comforting.  
“I might have to find you a woman myself after all.”  
“After I find Kil,”  
“Obviously,”  
“And finish my mission,”  
“Clear your schedule then, or don’t. your father and I met on a mission…”  
“You’ve told me about that”

 

She sends him off, he kisses her before he goes. This is when Kalluto usually tails him for the thrill of it but he wasn’t the type to make it past the gateway. It was in Illumi’s favor, he would hate to worry about more than one brother at a time. Right now, he needs to find Killua, he has a lot to ask him. What comes after, he can deal with in time.

**Author's Note:**

> I know there's a lot of awkward phrasing, criticism is appreciated.
> 
>  
> 
> [check this out](https://twitter.com/birthdecay/status/1103417250428698625)


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